Bugs

Weel, tooday ah've deesayeded too tawk lahk dees ahl day.  No, not really.  Earlier today though, I had quite the run-in.  So, I was sitting around, when suddenly, the fair maiden rushes in, shrieking for help.  "Help, help!  The evil warlords Wasp and Bee are in my palace!"  So, I rolled up my weapon, flicked it around a couple times so it looks cool, and charged into the palace.  Wasp was easy to subdue, a couple of stiff blows turned him into a twitching mass of legs.  Bee was harder to deal with, and it was not until a couple minutes later, that I had destroyed his quickly moving body.  This puts in mind an incident at our cabin.  So, we arrive there, and sleep there one night.  Then, the people who slept in the "littler" room, remarked they'd seen a bug in their room.  So, the whole family tramps in, and sure enough, there's five or six of the little buggers, crawling around the ceiling.  They looked a lot like winged ants, and being the inventive sort that we are, we immediately dubbed them "winged ants".  My mom decides someone had better get rid of them, so she gets the vacuum, unhooks the hose, and looking uncommonly like Indiana Jones, she starts to suck 'em up.  It only took a moment, and my mom gets down, and starts to put the vacuum away again, but then she sees that there's another five or six on the ceiling.  She gets up, and sucks them up again.  Then, one of us spectators remarks that there's a hole in the ceiling.  And, my mom, being the brave sort, sticks the hose right up to the hole, holds it there a few seconds, and then takes it away.  The best way to illustrate what happened next is by something you've probably all seen.  You know in Fellowship of the Ring, that shot where Frodo or someone looks up at the ceiling in Moria and all these Goblins start broiling out of a hole and climbing down the pillars?  That's about it.  In moments, the entire brood of "winged ants" was on the ceiling, the more adventuresome ones dropping onto the floor.  My mom, standing on the bed, and no doubt struggling to suppress the gag reflex, begins to suck them up.  But more came.  And more.  And more.  And more.  It was half an hour or more before they were all in.  Even the Queen joined the party, a big fat bug, upon seeing whom, my mom gave an ejaculation of disgust (Oh YUCK!!) and promptly sucked it into the bag.  When we were done, the bag was humming like a platoon of humming army men was trapped in it.  And to this day, if the cabin is quiet, and the vacuum situated right... you can still hear it humming.    And that... is the Legend of the Winged Ants.     

Woo-hoo, my longest post yet!!!